A Random Pattern

Now is a good time to mention “word wars”.  Word wars are useful tools during the frantic month of November, when 1600+ words a day are required and time, family demands, and everything else collide.

Set a timer for 5, 15, or 30 minutes, challenge someone else, and see how many words you can get written.  Leave everything behind – grammar, punctuation, spelling, perhaps coherent sentence structure – but get that wordcount.

The section below is from one of many word wars.  Because of that, even though I’ve done some basic editing, it is a little confusing.  Hopefully you can still enjoy:

As tension was rising within the group, they nearly encountered [BC1] another Deeper traveling school.  They scrambled to change direction, but the Deeper community seemed almost to follow them.  They swam rapidly, trying to stay ahead of the quick-moving Deepers and the accompanying Shallower school above.  As they moved off towards one side, they found another, larger shallower school, with no real place to squeeze between.  Frustrated the four swam forward as quickly as they could, gaining a little ground ahead of the shallower farm.  But as they raced ahead, looking for a way to get off to the side before the ridge which was rapidly approaching, a ship and group of enforcers appeared on the horizon.

Alex frantically looked for options as they stopped.  Behind them the shallower school continued approaching, to the north [BC2] a larger school.  Underneath both, a farily [BC3] large Deeper community.  In front of them to the south, the Ridge, which would force the Deepers up and leave them very little room for even possible hiding[BC4] .  And passing directly in front and headed towards them from the east, the group of enforcers.  There was little time ofr [BC5] arguing, though each of them suggested a different tack.  We’ll split up [BC6] Alex decided.

“Gooshan and Xero, to the south, try as hard as you can to get past the school.  If you have to go over the ridge, try to make it through or find a group to blend in with if possible.  Good luck, we’ll meet you on the shelf.  Muuld, come with me, we’re going to try and go under the enforcers but stay out from under eth [BC7] ship if possible.  We’ll be pusing [BC8] our depth but hsould [BC9] be able to make it.  Everyone stay calm as you can, if you get found sing the slave song as we’ve discussed before and mimic the controlled fear of those belonging to a Deeper group already – afraid only of your owner deepers and not those approaching.  I pray for the best and hope to see you in a few days.”

No one noticed Daire was gone, nor had thoughts for him now[BC10] .  He wasn’t going to save them, not that they trusted him enough for that anyway.

Xero and Gooshan did as Alex suggested, and took off on a south-east tangent, swimming as fast as the possibly could, trying to escape detection and make it around – or under – the shallower school while escaping Deeper notice[BC11] .  They kept being forced to change course east to avoid getting too close.  Just as they seemed to make it south enough of the school, the ground underneath rose forming the ridge, and the Deepers began coming to ttheir [BC12] depth.  There was no room to get further out of the way – they were trapped.

As tension was rising within the group, they nearly collided with another Deeper traveling school.  They scrambled to change direction, but the Deeper community seemed almost to follow them.  They swam rapidly, trying to stay ahead of the quick-moving Deepers and the accompanying Shallower school above.  As they moved off towards one side, they found another, larger shallower school, with no real place to squeeze between.  Frustrated the four swam forward as quickly as they could, gaining a little ground ahead of the shallower farm.  But as they raced ahead, looking for a way to get off to the side before the ridge which was rapidly approaching, a ship and group of enforcers appeared on the horizon.

Alex frantically looked for options as they stopped.  Behind them the shallower school continued approaching, to the south  a larger school.  Underneath both, a fairly large Deeper community.  In front of them to the south, the Ridge, which would force the Deepers up and leave them very little room for hiding .  And passing directly in front and headed towards them from the east, the group of enforcers.  There was little time for arguing, though each of them suggested a different tack.  “We’ll split up” Alex decided.

“Gooshan and Xero, to the south, try as hard as you can to get past the school.  If you have to go over the ridge, try to make it through or find a group to blend in with if possible.  Good luck, we’ll meet you on the shelf.  Muuld, come with me, we’re going to try and go under the enforcers but stay out from under the  ship if possible.  We’ll be pushing our depth but should be able to make it.  Everyone stay calm as you can, if you get found sing the slave song as we’ve discussed before and mimic the controlled fear of those belonging to a Deeper group already – afraid only of your owner deepers and not those approaching.  I pray for the best and hope to see you in a few days.”

No one noticed Daire was gone, nor even thought about him right now .  He wasn’t going to save them, not that they would have trusted him enough for that anyway.

Xero and Gooshan did as Alex suggested, and took off on a south-east tangent, swimming as fast as the possibly could, trying to escape detection and make it around – or under – the shallower school while escaping Deeper attention .  They kept being forced to change course east to avoid getting too close.  Just as they seemed to make it south enough of the school, the ground underneath rose forming the ridge, and the Deepers began coming to their depth.  There was no room to get further out of the way – they were trapped.

Ah, and here it gets very intense.  The rest of this chapter, and on into the following chapter, is packed to the gills (haha) with …. Well, I won’t spoil it for you.

It has been fun to write, though sad in parts.  I will say shortly after this word war I realized that I’m going to completely change how the groups split up, and in fact mid-way through the chapter I just changed who was where, magically, with no explanation.  My poor proofreaders!  Anyway, this section has a lot of room for improvement on the re-write.

I hope you’ve enjoyed.  If you would like more excerpts, please let me know.  I’m drawing near the end of the first draft now, and anxious to be done.

Gooshan has encountered her long-lost friend, Thodn, from near the beginning of the book.  He is safely in another school, still a slave.  She decides to offer him a chance…

“Do you – do you want to be free, Thodn?” she asked quietly.  “It will be dangerous, but I’ll do everything I can to help you.  You can come with us, and they have some small safe places set up that I can get you to.   You can spend time quietly there, just learning and doing whatever you choose.”

“Whatever I choose?  You mean, whatever I choose from the options they give me.  Without leaving the area, and so on.”

“No, Thodn! You can leave the area.  You can go out on your own at any point you want.”

“I can do that now.  What kind of choice is that?  ‘Here, you can go on your own if you like, aren’t you free?’ Yes, free to die.  If I want to live, if I want to eat, play games, enjoy life, then I need community.”

“But Thodn, right now you don’t get any choice about community.  You stay in the school you’re in and hope to live out a long life there, if they don’t work you to death.”

“Do I really get more choice in the Invisible Remnant?   You’re still at great risk for death from Deepers, and the only difference is you’re working yourselves to death.  You’re free to pick community – from the Invisible Remnant only.  Which I have to imagine is small, and probably spread across the ocean.  Did you pick your companions?”

Gooshan’s thoughts turned red with a sudden flush of embarrassment.  Though she wanted to defend herself, she could tell this wasn’t going the way she had wanted.

"Oceans Die" Book Cover with author Stephen Christopher

Thanks to the generous pennythepants who is making covers for many happy novel writers over in the NaNo Artisans forums.  She(?) made me this lovely cover, which is encouragement as I struggle through the last 15K or so of my novel.

I’m officially one of many NaNoWriMo ‘winners’, which means I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days.  However, my story isn’t finished.  In some ways it is just getting started.  Right now I’ve set a goal to write the ending by December 19th.  After that, I will worry about the second draft… (*shudder*)